I was born into a Catholic family and grew up practicing my faith. When I was about six years old my Mum told me about St Thérèse – because she loved God so much while she was still a young girl she became a nun. I was filled with admiration because not only did she love God – she also acted on her love. The strong impression she made on me lasted – when I was confirmed I took her name.
When I was at university I began to deeply question my beliefs for the first time. I loved so many aspects of the faith – the continual presence in my life of a loving God, the thought of eternal life, the communion of saints – it seemed so good, so desirable, but this didn’t prove that it was true. I struggled painfully with this conundrum for over a year, then one evening I went to see a parish sister. I was talking about my loneliness at university, and I assumed she would say something like ‘You are never alone, because God is always there’, but she didn’t, she just listened and encouraged me to try and pray. So I thought maybe I should say it, and I did, as we were shaking hands to say goodbye – ‘I suppose I shouldn’t think I am alone because God is always with me’ and she said ‘That’s right’, and I found I believed it. I felt like she had handed me back my faith.
There followed the honeymoon period of my final year at university where I was able to explore the faith with the support of the chaplains and other students, to attend daily Mass, and to deepen my prayer life. I was into praying the Divine Office and would often say Morning and Evening prayer, either alone or at the Chaplaincy. I read a lot, including works of and about St Thérèse, and began to feel that I was called to be a nun like her. I wrote to the Carmelite monastery in my home city and they replied that I couldn’t enter straight from university, I needed to have some experience of earning a living first. So my life took another turn and I took up a career as a nurse.
For the next thirteen years or so I practiced my faith with various degrees of regularity, sometimes only just hanging on, sometimes with increased devotion. Eventually I began to make regular personal prayer a part of my daily life. I went on holiday to Ireland one year and was struck by the number of vocations posters I saw saying ‘Is God calling you to religious life?’ I realised that the answer might be ‘Yes’ and so when I returned home I did some thinking. The religious community that most attracted me were the monks of Ampleforth Abbey where I had sometimes attended the Easter retreat. I was surprised to find that the nuns associated with them were enclosed – but then remembered that I had once wanted to be a Carmelite. So I began to visit, and in September 2006 was able to enter Stanbrook.
Even in the monastery my path has not always been smooth. The first few years are a time of discernment of the candidate’s vocation for the life. I always felt a strong call but at times my health was poor. With the help and support of the community I was able to persevere, and hope to make my final vows in 2026.
Sr Therese Murphy OSB
‘I have called you by your name, you are mine’
As a child, I was incredibly proud of the fact that I had been baptised with water that had come from the River Jordan; nothing to with my family, simply a coincidence. I wasn’t born into a Catholic or even a church-going family but my baptism was my tangible link to Christ.
Fast forward 17 years and I decided I really had to find out more about what it meant to say: ‘I am a Christian.’ It was at this point that I had the first inkling that I was perhaps being called to give my whole life to God. It was not something that filled me with joy, rather the opposite…
I was received into full communion with the Catholic Church when I was 27, having been a committed Christian (Anglican) for the previous ten years. During this time, the sense of call never disappeared although I put many obstacles in the way. I became a primary school teacher and loved my work and my life. I had to give God a chance to find a plan B or C before I would surrender to His plan A!
Becoming a Catholic was a necessary piece of the jigsaw to explore monastic life. Soon after my reception, I visited Stanbrook Abbey.
I loved travelling and enjoyed life. I asked myself: ‘Why would I give it all up for a life lived within four walls, with no holidays and seemingly no prospect of making a difference.’ Equally, I didn’t think of myself as particularly devout or a good at praying!
During my three week aspirancy, I didn’t expect to fall in love with the life. The rhythm of the Benedictine day made complete sense and I felt like the jigsaw piece that had found the perfect fit.
Monastic life involves renunciation and there are many things we forgo, things we are told growing up in this crazy world that are essential. Living in a community of all women has its challenges and we feel the bite when we sacrifice many ‘good’ things in order to be faithful to this way of life. Like any life, any Christian life, it has its challenges but it is a life that is permeated with joy, with Christ at the centre. All that he created and called me to be is at the service of the community and so given back to God.
Sr Josephine Parkinson OSB